The Truth Will Set You Free

The last three weeks have probably been the most emotional time of my life.

I broke up with my boyfriend for falsified reasons, I lied to myself and to him.
In these three weeks I have realized that not everything is going to be picture perfect. There are things an individual must endure before he is able to reach the goal he is trying to reach. I took advantage of the love of my life, and I regret it with every inch of my heart.

A man came into my life , in vulgar terms fucked it all up. I blame myself as well. I was blind-sided by the charm, and the overall look of him. He fed me what I wanted to hear, a bunch of bullshit. And for what? To ruin a year and a half relationship, where nothing was wrong, it was fantastic. My insecurities got the best of me. I'm tired of these insecurities, I am ready to rid them forever.

I had a dream with Trent Reznor after the break-up. My favorite band, my favorite lead singer, tried to portray a lesson to me in my subconscious about the situation in front of me. In the dream, Trent Reznor was conversing with me on a first meeting basis, asking me questions about my job, my goals and my overall aspect of life. Naturally I was attracted to him... he's Trent Reznor, talented, successful, over-all I like his soul. He was genuinely interested in me, he was pursuing me and I liked it. The scene switches to my ex-boyfriends grandmother's house(she's the most gracious woman). I was sitting on the couch and the phone rings, a grandmother type (not his real grandmother) comes to answer the phone and says aloud "No Mr. Trent Reznor, Andrea is not here, NO " (I was there, but she was telling him that I was not there, this made me angry in the dream)


All I needed to say to the man, was No. No, and everything would be okay.
I'm trying to reminisce with my ex, Chuck, I have a apologized profusely, but just soley words can not surpass how much I hurt him. If I could take it all back, I would. I would love to continue the relationship, and for the first time in my life I've never felt so committed to someone, and actually being okay with that. Our journey of a year and a half has been filled with so many uplifting experiences, spiritual and of the real. I would love to see where we go.

I questioned him our relationship, and I told him I'd understand completely if he needed time.






Time will only tell what holds for me.