Death and a Shooting Star

I dreamt I died recently. It was a moment when I knew and assured myself that I was going to die. Some anxiety arose until it just happened. I felt as if my spirit/soul/essence rose from my physical body and into another dimension. Alex Grey, one of the most creative artists of our time, has created a very good depiction of death, and what it was I felt.

This dimension was similar to the one we live now. I was on a tropical beach, with 2 other individuals, I could not recall who they were. It was night, and the moon was glowing as full as it ever could. Then a sudden shooting star glowing across the sky, then another. About 100+ shooting stars glowed through the clouds. I remember visualizing them and feeling a sense of blissfulness.


There are many ways I could interpret this dream. Dreams are metaphors of life. I did research on a dream website for the words Death and Shooting star.

Die

To dream that you die in your dream, symbolizes inner changes, transformation, self-discovery and positive development that is happening within you or in your life. Although such a dreams may bring about feelings of fear and anxiety, it is no cause for alarm and is often considered a positive symbol. Dreams of experiencing your own death usually means that big changes are ahead for you. You are moving on to new beginnings and leaving the past behind. These changes does not necessarily imply a negative turn of events. Metaphorically, dying can be seen as an end or a termination to your old ways and habits. So, dying does not always mean a physical death, but an ending of something.

Shooting Star

To see a shooting star in your dream, is a sign of self-fulfillment and advancement. A shooting star is also symbolic of a new birth and changes in your life.

courtesy of dreammoods.com

This basically sums up everything that I have been experiencing lately. As far as becoming more compassionate, loving myself and others, letting go of the past and living in the present.

Not too sure about the "new birth", new birth of myself? Possibly.

The Truth Will Set You Free

The last three weeks have probably been the most emotional time of my life.

I broke up with my boyfriend for falsified reasons, I lied to myself and to him.
In these three weeks I have realized that not everything is going to be picture perfect. There are things an individual must endure before he is able to reach the goal he is trying to reach. I took advantage of the love of my life, and I regret it with every inch of my heart.

A man came into my life , in vulgar terms fucked it all up. I blame myself as well. I was blind-sided by the charm, and the overall look of him. He fed me what I wanted to hear, a bunch of bullshit. And for what? To ruin a year and a half relationship, where nothing was wrong, it was fantastic. My insecurities got the best of me. I'm tired of these insecurities, I am ready to rid them forever.

I had a dream with Trent Reznor after the break-up. My favorite band, my favorite lead singer, tried to portray a lesson to me in my subconscious about the situation in front of me. In the dream, Trent Reznor was conversing with me on a first meeting basis, asking me questions about my job, my goals and my overall aspect of life. Naturally I was attracted to him... he's Trent Reznor, talented, successful, over-all I like his soul. He was genuinely interested in me, he was pursuing me and I liked it. The scene switches to my ex-boyfriends grandmother's house(she's the most gracious woman). I was sitting on the couch and the phone rings, a grandmother type (not his real grandmother) comes to answer the phone and says aloud "No Mr. Trent Reznor, Andrea is not here, NO " (I was there, but she was telling him that I was not there, this made me angry in the dream)


All I needed to say to the man, was No. No, and everything would be okay.
I'm trying to reminisce with my ex, Chuck, I have a apologized profusely, but just soley words can not surpass how much I hurt him. If I could take it all back, I would. I would love to continue the relationship, and for the first time in my life I've never felt so committed to someone, and actually being okay with that. Our journey of a year and a half has been filled with so many uplifting experiences, spiritual and of the real. I would love to see where we go.

I questioned him our relationship, and I told him I'd understand completely if he needed time.






Time will only tell what holds for me.

Self-inflicted emotions

My emotions have dictated my life since the day I came out of the womb. These are better days now, and I am finally realizing the truth.

I was addicted to certain types of emotions that correlated with a certain type of situation. Drama, sex, men/boys, television, magazines, 'friends' were all apart of the big melting pot. High school was not my cup of tea, but it was my own fault that it wasn't. I was addicted to the emotions that made me feel that 'high' feeling. It is time to be high, without actually being high.

As these slow, but yet quickly, days go by, I seem to be more calm, I am analyzing my thoughts more and gaining a better understanding of this world.

On the contrary, I seem to having difficulties expressing myself verbally...but if I keep insisting that that is how I am won't I continue to go down this path?

Ok, I am very good at expressing myself verbally. Now I just have to take action and let it flow.

Insecurities ruled my world, but now I am the ruler of my world, I just have to believe in myself in everything I say, speak, do, and don't do.
I want to be harmonious and balanced. I want to be compassionate and fun-loving. I am harmonious and balanced. I am compassionate and fun-loving.


NOT EVERYTHING REVOLVES AROUND TERROR, POLICITICS, WAR, FAMINE, HOLLYWOOD, REALITY TV, and so forth.
It is all an illusion.

rest in peace bird

Yesterday a black crow-liked bird died on the ground in front of me. The bird attempted to go right through the glass door. I tried to save him but his neck was broken from the blow to the beak. He is off in a better place now.